Halloweeeeen

This was a weekend I had been looking forward to for months. I had planned out my costume wellll in advance (like...in January) and it was the SHIT. The idea wasn't too original--the white swan from the insane movie Black Swan, but the execution--phenomenal, thanks to my mother. She is the craftiest woman alive and this costume was show-stopping, if I don't say so myself.

It looked awesome when it was all complete except there was one bad point. Going to the bathroom took roughly an hour and a half. I discovered this before leaving my apartment when I had to:
1) remove tutu while trying not to stab myself with the pin
2) untie foil wrapped around my stomach (the piece of the mirror--yes I gave away the ending of the movie if you haven't seen it, deal)
3) remove leotard, while trying not to rip off feathers
4) sit basically naked and pee
5) pull up leotard while trying not to rip off feathers
6) retie foil and put tutu back on
This was not a good thing considering I usually go to the bathroom 5-6 times when I go out. I knew where I would be spending most of my time--the bathroom line. What else is new.
I headed into Williamsburg. Polish Princess had some people over to get ready and then we were heading to a party in the neighborhood. After waiting roughly an hour for them to get ready, we left the apartment after midnight--me as the white swan, one girl as a "jill in the box" and the rest all as Day of the Dead themed ladies (which apparently is a very popular costume in New York).
We walked to the party to find it was in an old warehouse. My first warehouse party in New York! I was excited until we walked in and discovered that we were pretty much the only ones in costumes. Apparently hipsters are too cool to even celebrate Halloween appropriately. I grabbed a drink and headed straight to the bathroom line. Once it was my turn I felt bad knowing that I was for once going to be that girl who took forever in the bathroom. I reassembled and decided to step out into the entryway to put my tutu back on and let whoever was next go ahead. Of course it was creeper of the century's turn, who asked me TWICE if I needed help while looking me up and down. Totally fine SIR. He then followed me back into the party and proceeded to stare at me from the corner where he stood alone. Luckily the girls formed a protective circle around me. We attracted lots of friends that night, since whenever we walked through the crowd, Jill in the Box hit everyone with her giant box. As if it wasn't hard enough to notice the only group of girls in ridiculous costumes. I talked to no one memorable, though I did get lots of compliments on my costume. You're goddamn right it's awesome. Other highlights of my bathroom trips included leaving behind my clutch and luckily having some nice soul run after me to give it back and doing free drugs with a random guy. Yes, this is my life. We then left, went to Zablowski's where I thought I was going to puke in the bathroom. On my subway ride home at 5AM I, in my haze, overheard some teenagers down the car saying "Look, no, she's the white swan, the good swan!". I wanted to turn and smile, but was pretty sure I couldn't even manage that. Once again, Williamsburg's charms takes their toll.
The next day I slept til mid-afternoon. When I rolled out of bed I discovered that the weather was indeed, complete shit, as had been predicted. I trucked out to get a sandwich and it was worse than it looked. Hail, mixed with snow, all being tossed about by a strong wind. Slush was everywhere and I was very worried about how my costume was going to hold up that night. After housing my sandwich I decided I would deal with it later and went back to bed for another few hours. I had planned this day to be a complete waste so I was not too disappointed in myself when I got up in time to start getting ready again. I was not excited about the idea of going to the bathroom with this costume on again, nor was I about the winter wonderland outside. I was pulled between two plans for the night. Party-hopping with GF or one party with Yahtzee and his friends. Unfortunately this party was in Murray Hill (where Cute Guy lives) but despite this I decided to go with them, for fear of messing up my costume. So I tied some plastic bags around my feet and off I went to Yahtzee's apartment in the East Village. I was fairly certain Ibanker would not be involved in the night and luckily I was correct. Yahtzee was delighted with my costume and I equally with his--an 80's basketball player, complete with wig and short shorts. His roommate was also there. I had never met him and he was dressed as a 70s cop. The three of us headed to the subway and I almost had my umbrella ripped out of my hands multiple times. Our first stop would be a pregame at one of the other Croatia guy's cousin's apartments. It was also literally right down the street from Cute Guy's apartment and I walked down the street almost giddy, knowing I was playing with fire. No sightings and we headed inside. I had met this cousin before--she was present at the first Croatia reunion way back when I first moved to NYC. She was very friendly as were her Russian friends and I was made to take multiple shots of free vodka. One of Yahtzee's friends, dressed as a Ferrero Rocher and her friend, a cat or something, joined and the six of us (me, Yahtzee, his roommate, other Croatia guy, Russian Rocher and her friend) headed down the block to the Murray Hill party. The small apartment was packed with people and there were Halloween decorations and candy everywhere. I took a handful and headed straight for the bathroom. It happened to be right in the middle of the party and the lock was faulty so everytime I went, I was terrified that I would be the naked white swan on the toilet. The group kept a good lookout for me though. I also made some friends throughout the night while in line, including with a guy who was dressed as an Angry Bird. Our friendship abruptly ended though when I admitted I thought he was a cardinal. I also was chatting with Russian Rocher and the roommate--another ibanker from Boston. We will call him Deux. Not that late into the night, the rest of the group decided to head out leaving me, Deux and other Croatia guy to fend for ourselves. We had grand plans to go to Webster Hall, which I thought was a good idea since Summer Boo was in town for the weekend and was there. Deux suggested we stop by their apartment on the way and take some shots. 2-3 tequila shots later I was planted on the couch and not moving. I fell asleep during Deux and Croatia guy's convo about business and woke up to discover Croatia guy leaving and Deux's other roommate coming home, accompanied by two mean girls. After one made a bitchy comment about my costume, I agreed to go with Deux into his room. I knew it was a bad decision, but I was tired and drunk and the weather was deplorable. And was the fact that this could be my underhanded way of getting back at Ibanker in my mind?--possibly. I was not about to let things get out of hand though, and informed Deux that if he tried to sleep with me I would punch him. I wasn't kidding around. Although the joke was on me when in the morning, in the light of day with his wig removed, I discovered that Deux was a redhead. Not a complete ginger luckily but it did have an auburn tint to it. Slightly horrified I decided that it was time to leave. I had received a text from Polish Princess saying she was having a brunch before flying out later that afternoon for Argentina. I wanted to try and make it since it was on my way home anyway. I turned down Deux's offer of a brunch and reluctantly changed back into my costume. I even more reluctantly crept into the living room (there was no avoiding it) on my way out where the bitchy girls from last night had slept and were now awake. I walked with my head held high out the front door and down the street towards the subway. Yes, it was my Halloween walk of shame and of course it was now a beautiful sunny day (meaning lots of people were out). I then headed straight to Williamsburg, partly because of time constraints but mostly because I thought it would be funny, where I showed up to brunch looking like the raggedy white swan. Turns out Polish Princess was more concerned with the fact that I had gone to a party in Murray Hill....
I took a day off to catch up on much needed sleep, shower and regain my dignity. I also sent a huge apology to Summer Boo, whom I had completely blown off the night before while he waited for me at Webster Hall. Oh my life. The next day I was recharged and ready for Halloween...actual Halloween. I met Penelope and Salma at a dive bar in the West Village, so we could drink $2 PBR's (unhhhheard of in NYC) before the parade. I was having Mason meet us there. He had been out of town for the weekend and while the boys are away the white swans will play apparently. I had felt guilty, but I have since learned to squelch those feelings. He was dressed in a cowboy hat, sunglasses, fake beard and carried a fake guitar. I have no idea what he supposed to be and I don't think he did either, but people seemed to love it. At the parade everyone wanted to keep taking pictures with him and my jealousy reached a peak when a Black Swan marched by, receiving all sorts of attention. Luckily the couple other White Swans we saw throughout the night were subpar--I "looked much more like a ballerina", as Mason's friend wisely put it. The insanity of the parade was out of control. We debated going to walk in it, but the thought of being stuck in it and having to go to the bathroom led me to veto that idea. We instead headed to go get food, where two girls Mason knew showed up and joined our group (Salma and Penelope had since left, replaced by a group of Mason's friends). They regaled us all with a story of their sighting--a young guy giving an old man a blow job right in the middle of the parade crowd. I almost threw up in my mouth. After, we tried to head to some of the bars near the parade route on Bleecker but it was too much so we headed down a sidestreet and wrapped up our night at the Dove. I went back with Mason that night but luckily was spared ANOTHER Halloween walk of shame the next morning when he loaned me some clothes. This did not prevent me from looking like a hot mess when I walked past Ibanker's work on the way to the subway. Once again playing with fire as a result of yet another crazy weekend in New York.