It's My Motherf*cking Birthday!

And I wasn't even going to celebrate it until I discovered that it was on a Saturday. I decided that I would keep it lowkey but I was pleased to learn that I would have guests in town to celebrate with me--AD and MM, for an Ultra reunion! Our plan for Friday night, before the bday festivities, was to see Paul Oakenfold at Pacha. Now Pacha was the club where I had had my phone stolen with Benny and I was not pleased about going back. But I had always wanted to see Oakenfold and I was going to be keeping an eagle eye on my phone this time. After work I swung by Charlie Kelly's to pick up MM--Charlie Kelly and AD would be meeting us at the club later as they had another early show to catch. I always warn people to pack lightly when they visit me but MM did not exactly heed my warning. And just our luck, the subway ride back to my apartment was one of the most crowded I have ever had. We stood in the middle of the car stumbling, because there were no handrails, with MM's two massive bags taking out everyone around us. By the time we made it back to my apartment MM was out of breath and felt like (I quote from her) "a biggest loser contestant". We rewarded ourselves with food from the neighborhood taco stand and some deeelish hot toddies. After we headed back to Pacha aka the worst club in New York where GF was meeting up with us. He had started his night early and was far more wasted than we initially realized. This became apparent when after buying a round of $15 shots for us (including the bartender), he started to bite me and MM (keep in mind they had just met). We weren't quite sure what to do with him but after a minor scuffle with some Guids he decided to head out. MM and I were on our own waiting for Charlie Kelly and AD to arrive. After about an hour we finally received a text from AD saying they had caught someone trying to steal her wallett and to make up for it the manager had given them access to VIP. After MM and I bitched enough, we were eventually allowed up as well. It was of course much better being away from the Guids and other disgusting characters that frequent Pacha. It also gave us the perfect vantage point to watch them. We spotted a midget and a guy who looked exactly like Kim Jeong Il (of course he would be at Pacha). It was even better when a few minutes later we spotted Kim trying to grind up on some lady. I was satisfied to be able to dance without sweaty people surrounding me and I was sipping on the weird drink concotion that was handed to me. Paul Oakenfold was underwhelming though and he was probably one of the ugliest men I have ever seen--he was short and tubby and had T-rex like arms. We had a close encounter when MM and I went to leave after the set. Oaks himself walked up into VIP and was sitting at a table directly in front of us, surrounded by people talking to him. I decided I might as well meet him since we were here and it was birthday and all. I stood quietly at the table waiting my turn when a surly looking man approached me and demanded to know who I was. I told him and he asked what I was doing. I rolled my eyes and said I was waiting for Paul, obviously. He then very politely yelled for me to get the fuck out. Surprised and annoyed, I decided I would be staying put and began to talk to the very nice (and cute) Russian boys who were also part of the group. They offered to introduce me to their friend Paul but I told them I was nervous about the scary yelling man. They said it would be fine and led me over to Paul. But before I could utter a word, the dick man came out of nowhere and waved me away. It turns out he was Paul's bodyguard and it is a good thing he was doing his job, since I was so threatening in my bright yellow tights. I was also one of the only girls there, besides MM who was nervously waiting for me in the background. So at that point I was completely fed up and decided I really didn't give a shit about meeting ugly old Paul Oakenfold nor getting harassed by his people. So to that man--thanks for being a complete dick to me on my birthday asshole! I had known I was going to regret ringing in my birthday at a place like Pacha and I was correct.
The next day I was of course hungover and almost puked in the bathroom of the chicken 'n waffle place (called Pies and Thighs) that we went to for brunch. I didn't feel much better after a nap but I needed to suck it up since this was the big night and Mairey was also driving all the way down from Syracuse. I also had a potential mess to distract me. I had drunkenly invited Deux on Halloween to my bday party, thinking that he wouldnt' show. To my surprise he enthusiastically agreed and had even confirmed earlier in the week. How could you turn down an invite like this:

WELL 25 was the last birthday I was going to acknowledge, but since the big 2-6 is on a Saturday what choice do I have but to celebrate??
 And you guys are going down with me. Let's all meet at Spitzer's (Rivington btw Essex and Ludlow) at around 10. We can get some drank...s and maybe even snag one of the picnic tables. Depending on how this goes we can stay there for a bit or migrate somewhere else in the LES. I'll see how I feel, it's my fucking birthday. I do know we will be ending the night at Mystique (Chrystie and Delancey) to dance our faces off to some house music, just how I like it.
 So put your party pants on and get ready to rage. Friends are welcome, provided they don't suck. The birthdays where I can act OOC are quickly dwindling so I plan to take full advantage--it's going to be a rowdy one, so get ready. You'll laugh, you'll cry, I'll probably yell at a stranger.
Boom.

The problem being, Mason was also going to be there. This is what I get for trying to balance two guys, although my main concern was Mason finding out about Deux, since I actually liked Mason. I could barely enjoy my bday dinner at Les Enfants Terribles, since I was so nervous about what was going to come. The group headed to Spitzer's and I had an assortment of characters present--of course Mairey, AD and MM, as well as GF, JM and her South African boyfriend, and Prom, Salma and Penelope with some of their friends. Luckily Mason wasn't present yet and good thing because Deux and Yahtzee had arrived, with a whole bunch of their ibanking friends in tow. I recognized a couple from Yahtzee's party over the summer but couldn't really differentiate them in their cloud of Vineyard Vines. I bounced back and forth between the groups but felt like I was in a daze. I was still hungover and it had taken me almost an hour to get down my first beer.I ruled out a trip to Mystiqrious, which was the next designated spot on the bday itinerary. There was no way I was capable of dancing, plus if Mason actually did show up that could further complicate things. No need to worry though, because after awhile spent at Spitzer's the group dissipated and every went their separate ways. I headed to the Back Room with AD, MM, Mairey and one of her friends from college she had invited along. He was super nice and bought us all a round of shots. Much better than Mason's behavior who finally stumbled there at 2AM, wasted. He didn't socialize with anyone except me and then tried to convince me to leave. A wonderful first impression for MM and Mairey, who immediately hated him. Luckily  I had a wonderful present, which put me in a much better mood. It was given to me by one of Salma and Penelope's friends--a Betty White paper mask, with her wearing kitten ears. The whole night the group of us had been running around with it taking pictures and cracking up. That was pretty much all I needed and the free pizza at the end of the night was also a huge plus.
The next morning the usual suspects (being myself, MM, Mairey, AD and Charlie Kelly) regrouped for brunch before AD and MM headed home. Of course the selection was made by Charlie Kelly and he chose (unknowingly of course) the restaurant where I had met Ibanker for our very first brunch, directly from a night spent with Cute Guy. Aka the infamous and classy puke in the sink night to ring in my second weekend in NYC. I chuckled at the memories and was glad I was in a much better state this time around. After the girls barely made their bus, Mairey and I headed out for a window-shopping afternoon which led us to Times Square, then down to Soho where we walked into the West Village, to meet her friends from college for dinner. They were super nice, but unfortunately I was so exhausted from the weekend that I could barely contribute to the conversation. I was also a bit preoccupied with Mason--he had acted so differently and the girls were telling me to write him off. I was ready to because I had a bad feeling. To my surprise while we were at the restaurant he called me. This was the second time we had ever talked on the phone and when I saw his name pop up I was convinced he was going to break things off. To my surprise, he actually apologized for being a jerk the night before. This was progress and I decided that I wasn't ready to give up on him yet.

Giftee, Gifter and Gift--Betty White mask. At least I'm not as old as her.

So a successful birthday weekend. 25 in NYC had its share of ups and downs but for the most part was fun and rowdy, just the way I like it. We will have to see what 26 in the City brings, since I am now older and wiser (?).....