The unfortunate thing about moving to Manhattan are the inevitable houseguests, and I don't mean vermin. Once word gets out that you are living in New York, you are done. People come out of the woodwork and ask to stay with you for a weekend. Some people, like my close friends, I do not mind hosting at all. But with others it's rude. And some people you can't turn down, such as family. I had this realization when my little cousin called me out of nowhere one night. I knew what was coming and there was no way I could fabricate a believable lie quickly enough. So this is how I got stuck with my military cousin and his wife driving up from VA Beach for the weekend. Now, I like my cousin just fine, but we do not have a whole lot in common.I knew this was going to throw a wrench in my plans for the weekend, and more importantly my, ahem, social life. I was also going to have to sleep on our pull-out couch for 2 nights and I was not pleased. But I had to bite the bullet, so after coming home from a terrible day at work, I took them to dinner at my fave German beer garden up the street. My cousin had a giant stein of beer and I thought nothing of it. Afterwards we headed to Ave A to meet up with Russian Rocher, who had very randomly run into JM and her boy toy as well. After vetoing Niagara Bar due to the crowd, we went to Drop Off Service. My cousin bought me a couple beers and we drunkenly gossiped about our family. We stayed for an hour or two before heading home around 2 to go to bed. Definitely not a huge night for me though still relatively fun.
However, it must have been a big night for them. I wasn't thinking about the fact that my 23 year old cousin and his wife, who live in the suburbs, never go out. I pretty much always forget the fact that those who don't live in New York, often times aren't used to going out and drinking the whole night. This was apparent to me at 11:30 the next morning, when I was wide awake and ready to head to brunch and they had not budged. When I peeked in to check on them, there was a garbage can next to the bed and I knew it was over. I waited around for another couple hours and when they still had not moved, I headed out for the day. Atl and I got food, went to the San Genaro fest in Soho and ultimately ended up at a bar. I was off the hook for awhile as the fam was heading to a Yankee's game (of course).
We regrouped later that night and I had no clue what the hell to do with them. GF wanted to meet for dinner and I decided on a not very trendy Thai place near my apartment. One of GF's gay friends was having a bday party at a bar in Soho that night and I was pretty concerned about how the fam would fit in. Luckily they claimed they were tired after dinner so I gave them the keys to my apartment and headed off into the night. This was definitely for the best, as the bar was pretty classy, with bottle service. The pack of gays present were all very attractive and stylish, so my cousin and his Etnie sneakers would have been a bit out of place. After awhile at this place we all went to Botanica bar for a bit, until GF had to call it a night. Upon my exit the gays all told me that I was welcome to hang out with them anytime because I am pretty, which I vainly relished in.
My night was not over though, since Yahtzee had invited me to Los Feliz in the LES. GF was a gentleman and walked me there. There was a huge line out front, but Yahtzee managed to get me in by lying to the bouncer that his friend had a table. I don't even think there are tables at Los Feliz but it worked and I skipped the massive line. He was with a group whom I did not know and he was trying to mack it to one of the girls, who not only did not seem interested but also had a couple other dork admirers present. Yahtzee tried to get me to distract one of them but the guy couldn't hold a conversation for shit and after a few minutes I gave up and ran around the place doing god knows what.
In the end, Yahtzee did not get the girl and the fam left relatively early the next morning. I'm not sure if I exactly showed them a good time in New York, but it's not my fault they can't rally or easily walk up five flights of stairs. Luckily they were there to let me back into my apartment at 3AM and I was able to still go out, so all was not lost.
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