Really, I don't know what came over me. Too much time in NYC without a break, too much partying and not enough sleep, being fed up with boys? Probably a combo of all.
It all started the day after my bender. I felt bad that we had lost Slonks the night before, especially since I was not sure that we would see him again, before he moved to Denmark. To be with his girlfriend. Probably my cue to stay away. But did I do that? Nope. So I friended him on Facebook and sent him a message apologizing for losing him. He responded positively and said that we should hang out again the next weekend. A few exchanges back and forth and we made tentative plans to meet up. And to my slight surprise, Friday evening he texted, asking what my plans were. I had to go to a bday party in the LES and he said he was heading to that area.
But first I had to intervene on Atl's bad date at Sons of Essex. She had met this guy a couple nights ago at one of GA's events. She had drunkenly agreed to go out with him and since she was drunk, had not realized that he was a pretty huge tool. He was boring and condescending, which in my opinion is one of the worst combos. Our plan was to have me stop in and act like I needed her to come with me somewhere, leaving him behind after a drink. Except when I arrived he had somehow managed to get a table and invite one of his friends along. We were stuck. We sat down at the table but refused to get food. Luckily when the friend showed up, he turned out to be much more socialable but we were still not about to devote our night to them. I had to head to this bday party and then more importantly, meet up with Slonks. We were at a loss for what to do, so Atl stepped up to the plate and announced that we were going to leave and would text them after the bday party. I'm sure they knew this was bullshit and I felt guilty for leaving them, but I guess it wasn't my date.
This situation had really set us back time-wise so we made the executive decision to skip the bday party, to ensure we did not miss Slonks. He had texted saying that was at Hotel Chantelle, so we headed that way. I received another text from him as we were walking up that he was at the rooftop bar across the street and that Deux was also on his way. NOT part of the plan. Deux was trouble and I knew he would try and prevent whatever could happen from happening. But there was no turning back now. We made our way upstairs to a covered rooftop with red lights and a mini-pool in the middle. It was the strangest assortment of people I have ever seen in one bar--a mix of NYU kids, a few financy people (mostly made up of Slonks and Deux's friends) and a whole new breed of hipster. Different from the Williamsburg/Bushwick hipster, which tended to lean towards the nerdy side. These hipsters were more hardcore; the best description would be "Berlin Glam", which I'm aware probably makes no sense. You just had to see these hipsters in person.
Anyway we joined Slonks and Co and socialized. We were having a great time giving Deux a hard time after the following incident: he went to the bar and asked Atl and me what we wanted to drink. I informed him we would take two Stoli Sodas. We watched him stand at the bar for awhile and then it seemed like he was having an argument with the bartender. He finally returned a bit later with two vodka sodas in hand. When I asked him what took so long he responded that "the bar didn't have any 'silly sodas', so he just got us vodka sodas. Idiot! This led us all to be a bit meaner than we should've been towards poor Deux. But as usual he had it coming. When we walked to the Bowery to go to another bar, we all questioned Deux leading the way. He did end up finding the place and we all had a dance party to Call Me Maybe. Slonks and I had been chatting for most of the night and Deux was noticing. He kept trying to interrupt but then changed his mind and went and made out with some girl ont he dancefloor. He failed to lock her down though and she disappeared soon after. And so was everyone else in our group--the friends slowly started to leave the bar, including Atl, until it was just me, Slonks...and Deux. He was not getting the hint, or was refusing to take it. I sighed, went to the bathroom and tried to think of a game plan. I decided that I was just going to have to go home but when I returned Deux was miraculously gone!
Now, Slonks and I had obviously not determind if something was going to happen between us, but he had had his arm around me for most of the end of the night. Decision time was upon though, since the bar was closing. We walked outside and who was standing there waiting but Deux! Inwardly cursing him, I announced that I was going to walk home. Slonks would not allow this and said we would take a cab. The two of us went to get into one as Deux watched us. He then asked if he could share since he was on the way (he was not, no matter where we were going). Slonks agreed--I like to think he didn't know what else to do at that point. I also like to think that the events leading up to that moment proved that he wanted something to happen. So I made the drunken decision to very slyly send him a text, even though we were sitting together in the backseat. This text said "You can come back with me if you want". His response was something along the lines of wanting to but going through a lot and that it was weird with Deux there. Ehhhh awkward. When we pulled up to Avenue C I basically ran out of the cab as he tried to hug me goodbye. I sent him a text apologizing and he said it was fine, followed a few minutes later by a text asking if he should come back, then a correction saying he wanted to hang out soon and bidding me goodnight.
I woke up in the morning not pleased at all with my actions. I debated what to do the whole day, as if something needed to be done. I had a bday party for HH, who was in town that I was going to with GF that night. We had a lovely steak dinner and then headed to an 80s bar in Midtown. This turned out to be the worst bar I have been to in NYC besides Pacha. There was a $20 cover and it was filled with the most disgusting B&T people I have witnessed to date. B&T bachelorette parties, older B&Ters who had their heyday in the 80s--it was gross and not our scene at all. In the midst of all this I made a bad decision. Who wouldn't being surrounded by that. I was feeling inspired and wanted to be cute to try and make things better so I sent Slonks the following text:
Hey <Slonks>, this is crazy, but here I am trying to hang out with you when you have a girlfriend, so kill me maybe
And no he did not find the humor in this but in a surprising twist replied that he had found the previous week that the Danish girlfriend had cheated on him. But he had quit his job here and had a new one lined up over there so still had to move. I had no idea what to say so I left it until the next day, where I sent a series of texts trying to both show my sympathy and alleviate any awkwardness and suceeding in doing just the opposite.
I was not happy with my actions from the weekend and I did not contact him at all that week and even decided to go to Cuse the next weekend. After the previous weekend I needed to clear my head and take a break from the City, since it was clearly driving me nuts. I returned feeling refreshed and sent him one last text a couple days before he was scheduled to leave wishing him luck. He responded right away saying he was having friends out for goodbye drinks the next night and invited me. My chance to make things right! I recruited Atl and the next evening we trucked in the heat to Midtown East. We arrived to the German bar, looking like messes, since she was in her gym clothes and mine were about as sweaty as hers. Luckily just a couple friends were present, including one who had been with us the other night, and not including Deux. Things weren't too terribly awkward between Slonks and I and were basically fine a few beer steins later. I was acting like nothing happened but I managed to catch him in a lie. He was telling me about his apartment in Denmark and his "friend" he was going to be living with--I knew for a fact that he was moving in with the girlfriend. He also bought me another beer stein out of nowhere, at the end of the night, even though I still had a full one in front of me. I later found out that Atl had instructed him to do so. Though hilarious, Slonks is dorky and clueless. After his friend started hitting on me I decided that it was time to go before things got out of control. I needed to remove myself from that group of guys, so I hugged Slonks goodbye and left with my dignity intact.
I have not spoken to him since, but according to facebook, he seems very happy in Denmark with his girlfriend. And I am very happy that I am not a homewrecker.
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