After last year, I swore I would never do St. Patrick's Day in New York again. Who thinks I stuck to that promise?? The fact that AD was coming to town and I have a pair of green jeans from Santa Con were the main reasons for my decision to go out, despite having had a pesky wisdom tooth pulled a few days earlier. I hadn't eaten anything solid the day before, which made for a real treat for everyone around me. So Saturday morning, when AD and I headed to brunch at the delish restaurant I had discovered near my apartment, I was on a rampage. I sucked down a Bloody Mary and pounded a quiche in record time. Once the beast was satisfied we headed into Manhattan and over to the West Village to meet our customers. We had purchased tickets to see Justice awhile ago but were both disappointed with their new CD. Plus we knew St. Pat's could get out of hand, so we made the executive decision to put those bastards on Craigslist, with the tagline “don't miss these French fucks”. We found our buyers, who turned out to be an adorable older gay couple. We handed them off then headed to meet AD's good friend from college, who lives on Long Island and was going on a bar crawl in which we were going to be tagging along. After scooping her up on the Upper East Side, we headed down to Grand Central. Judging on how Santa Con had been, I knew it would be an ugly scene. Correct. Since it was already mid-afternoon, people were already pretty wasted and a trashy girl shoved us as we walked up to the bar. The participants in Long Island's bar crawl were pretty funny though, and we even met a guy who knew Charlie Kelly (whom we were avoiding since AD had a bf in the works back in DC). I texted GF to meet up with us and he rolled in, looking very tan and svelt. After about another hour in that area we couldn't take it anymore and decided to head down to the East Village, to meet up with—Paddy's Irish Pub.
Now he was a good friend of AD's said bf and I had gone on a date with him a few days before. We had never met, so it had the potential to go terribly wrong. But instead, we sat on the rooftop of Eataly for over 2 hours chatting non-stop. We seemed to have the same viewpoints on things, he was pretty funny and we got along really well. Afterwards I was smitten. I hadn't felt like that in a really long time, and I even allowed myself to get excited, which is strictly against my policy for, well, anything. We had made plans to meet up on St. Pats, which may not have been the best plan. I warned GF on the way there that he had to be on his best behavior. The conversation:
Me: I like this guy, so I need you to be--
GF: Nice?
Me: Gay.
We finally managed to meet up in the packed bar and as soon as I saw him I wondered if I had been delusional the night of Eataly. He didn't even look like the same person and was wearing a t-shirt with dress shoes. And not a trendy v-neck t-shirt but a regular bright green one with freaking DRESS SHOES. I decided to dismiss this as I was a bit grumpy due to the crowds of belligerent 22 years olds. GF however did not; apparently his comment to AD after meeting ole Paddy--”oh great, another mediocre-looking ibanker”. True story. We all hung out for awhile until GF couldn't take it anymore and left. The remaining three of us and Paddy decided to head across the street to a Mexican restaurant. I was starving again of course and AD and her friend were pretty wasted so probably needed food as well. So of course when Paddy tried to order us “taquitos” the waiter heard “tequila” and brought us out 4 shots of the worst tequila I have ever tasted.
This did not help AD and her friend's state—AD was chattering loudly while the friend was slumped over in the booth. I was completely sober because of all the food I had eaten. I'd really like to think that Paddy was very drunk after the following occurred. AD and her friend got up to go to the bathroom and as soon as they were gone Paddy turns to me and heatedly asked why the friend kept giving him dirty looks. I was confused, as she had barely paid him any attention. He then decided to say she was a bitch and Long Island trash. Now she may be a little tan, but she is a really nice girl and I was shocked that he would be dumb enough to say this about someone I was with. Didn't he want to impress me, because this was not the way. The only thing I could think to say was that she was really drunk, once again missing an opportunity to throw a drink in someone's face.
After dinner, the friend decided to split off from us, luckily for her. Prom was up the street at the Ninth Ward, so I insisted we go there, after hanging around a bit more with Paddy's lame friends. We sat at a table on the patio and when Prom came out wearing a ghetto baseball hat, I knew Paddy was judging. He hardly spoke to him. Little does he know that Prom makes more money than God on Wall St. so looks really are deceiving (plus, once again, the man was wearing a t-shirt with dress shoes!). Paddy at least turned his attention to me though, where it should have been, and asked me to go to dinner that week. I decided I would see what it was all about. After Ninth, he took us to Crocodile Lounge, where with each drink bought you receive a ticket for a free PIZZA. Good Lord I was in heaven. I was very pleased with the situation, until of course I wasn't. While waiting for our pizza, Paddy shoved the tickets in my hand and turned his full attention to AD, where it remained for the rest of the night. I was now a rejected pizza bitch. I shoved my face with some delish goodness and my mood improved when mid 90s jams came on and Yahtzee showed his face for a sweet sec. On our way out, Paddy suggested that we go back to his place and smoke weed. Suspicious of his intention to bring two girls back to his apartment, plus the fact that my subway line was half a block away, I declined. I heard from him sporadically over the next week, but we surprisingly never went to dinner. Could this be because he was too busy plotting how to break up AD and her bf (also his friend)? Maybe. Or maybe it was because he became privy to the fact that I have been seeing Jersey? Also likely. Though disappointed that I was once again disappointed, I'm sure I am better off.
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